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  • Clarke Wallace

ODDS & ENDS


Part One: Birthdays. I had the entire year not worrying about it, until it rolled around again. Mine’s tomorrow. I’d feel better if it only came once every second or third year, giving me time to prepare for it.


There are the lucky ones who never worry about getting old. They’re more likely to wake up one morning to find themselves dead in bed.


Part Two: We buy bird seed by the bagful, to keep the birds that stay for the winter a spot to find food. We stop filling the feeder in late April, and begin again in late October. It can get expensive, as you might know. Not that you’ll stop feeding them. It’s a guilt thing,


Along comes a friend drinking beer from a bottle. The last of my Kronenbourg 1664. He’s on the deck watching me adding mixed seed to the bird feeder. “That must be expensive,” he said, "keeping your bird friends happy."

“D ‘you know what I do?” he went on. “I save bacon fat, melt it in the fry pan and pour it over a large bowl of breakfast oatmeal. Okay, pouridge. Stir it up so it’s no longer sticky, and feed that to the birds. They lineup triple to get at it.”


Author’s comment: Part Three: Here’s what's really bothering me. Over the past two, three weeks, oak trees around us are shedding acorns that haven’t matured into a normal size. They’re tiny, tiny.


I mentioned this to a friend who who told me he was worried about finding these under-developed acorns scattered all over the downtown Toronto street where he lives. What’s gives?


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